Sunday, December 14, 2014

relationship what?

I am a mind traveler.
my mind could travel the unknown- infinite- perfect worlds.
Plato once said that mind is the ultimate perfection,
and the world is just the manifestation of those perfection.

I believe it.
well, I'm not a Plato's follower.
I just do agree one out of his billion yet I-do-not-really-understand statements.
o m g, I am so frustrated with these sejarah aliran psikologi- SAP-ping subject.
literally, sap!
(you'd better search 'sap' on google translate, then you'll understand what I mean)
(it's not I recommend you using google translate) NO.

back to topic.

since I was a mind traveler (and still I am now),
my mind could not be any wilder.
soooo wild until I could not even decide which is wilder, my mind or the Amazon anacondas.
maybe Minaj's anaconda is the wildest. I do not care, either.

related to the title of this post,
I do always repeat this topic over and over again in my wildest mind.
wild and repeated over and over again.
I hope it is going to be over soon. but I could not stop :(

the truth is…
I do miss being in a relationship.
w h y ?

my ex is no longer existed in my life. so, who cares?
(we are just friends now, super normal yet awkward friends. and you can not expect too much from a broken relationship, right? lol.)

I just miss being in that kind of special relationship.
what I really do miss are:
- a late-night yet deep conversation.
- good-morning and good-night texts.
- being asked repeated questions like "have you eaten yet?" or "have you taken bath yet?" lol.
- borrowing jacket, with boyfriend's personal scent.
- sending silly voice notes with voice cracks and exaggerated laughs.
- a ride to home.
- simple "I love you, dear" texts.
- being trapped in the rain together.
- seeing night sky together.
- holding hands awkwardly.
- having lovey-dovey meals and sharing each other's stories.
- flirting each other in silliness level infinity.
- sharing promises.
- being told that I will not be left alone.

I do miss being a special someone to someone's special.
I do miss being in love and loved no matter what.
I do miss being told that everything is going to be okay so I do not have to cry overnight.
I do miss being not a really loner.

after typing this post,
I realise that I do miss the feelings when being in a special relationship.
the feelings when the heart beats overactingly.

o m g.
how could I stand being single after all this time?

this post is not related to any human being. it is just me, my wild mind and my fragile heart.
for making you sure, I am not being so close with any guy at the moment.
so, this is not a code for someone out there.
no, there is no one, unfortunately.


well maybe,...
but I do not know.